silence.
content warning: this post discusses grooming, substance use, sexual manipulation, and abuse of power. please read with care and step away if you need to.
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
i was 18, home on spring break from college, when it started.
the man was my ex-boyfriend’s uncle. old enough to be my dad. he offered me weed, alcohol, and attention i thought i wanted. he told me he could be the first to give me an orgasm, even if it wasn’t with his body. at the time, i convinced myself it was my choice. i thought i was grown.
but i wasn’t.
emotionally, i was still a kid. i was raised in a religious home where i was made to believe that i had the best upbringing, opportunities, and home life. i convinced myself that i was “of age” so it wasn’t legally wrong and i knew what i was doing.
my brother eventually found out and told my dad. the confrontation that followed is something i’ll never forget. i remember feeling embarrassed, shame, but most of all, defensive, like i had to protect what i thought was “mine.” i couldn’t yet see how much i was being taken advantage of.
now, with time and perspective, i see the truth. legally, i was 18. but emotionally, i wasn’t. i see how substances were used to blur my judgment. i see how my home life & family dynamics created a false sense of mistrust. i see how sexual comments and promises were tools to hook me in. and i see how much older he was, how much power he had, and how little i truly understood.
that’s the thing about grooming. it doesn’t always fit neatly into legal definitions. sometimes, it hides in places where the world will say: “well, you were of age.” but age isn’t the only factor.
power is.
maturity is.
responsibility is.
and when an older adult chooses to blur those lines with someone barely stepping into adulthood, the damage is real.
and i know i’m not the only one.
as i stepped back into modeling & started networking within the phoenix fashion industry, i saw echoes of the same patterns. however, used in a different sense, photographers would reach out after shoots in ways that made my stomach twist. even as a grown woman, i encountered multiple well known photographers within the phoenix industry. men who blurred professional and personal boundaries under the excuse of “mentorship.” it’s a direct misuse of their power with any person but especially when it comes to the younger model generations.
i knew i had to speak up and speak out when a mother in our community began speaking out about her daughter. her daughter, a successful and well-known model in arizona and beyond, with undeniable talent. she just turned 18 & moved out to live with the man who used his position and power.
this isn’t drama. this isn’t gossip. this is what happens when we stay silent.
to the younger models: you are not alone, and it is not your fault.
to the phoenix community: protecting our models should come before protecting reputations.
and to myself: this is me naming what i couldn’t name back then.
growth means calling things what they are, even when it’s uncomfortable.
📌 resources.
if you or someone you know has experienced grooming, sexual exploitation, or abuse of power in the modeling/creative industry, you are not alone. here are some places you can turn to for support:
Arizona Sexual & Domestic Violence Helpline – confidential support, safety planning, and referrals: 602-279-2980 or 1-800-782-6400 | acesdv.org
Phoenix Dream Center – programs for survivors of human trafficking and exploitation: 602-346-8700 | phoenixdreamcenter.org
Eve’s Place – mobile crisis and support services for survivors of sexual/domestic violence across Arizona: 623-547-6175 | evesplace.org
Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence (ACESDV) – statewide advocacy and resources | acesdv.org
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) – 24/7 confidential hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.org
Love is Respect – support for young people in abusive or manipulative relationships: text “LOVEIS” to 22522 | loveisrespect.org
National Sexual Assault Hotline (U.S.) – anonymous chat and phone support | online.rainn.org
Model Alliance – nonprofit advocating for fair treatment, safety, and accountability in the fashion industry | modelalliance.org
SafeBAE – by youth survivors, focused on ending sexual assault through education and empowerment | safebae.org
if you are outside the united states, you can find international hotlines through rainn.org/resources.
and lastly, if you are a model or creative here who has experienced anything like what i’ve shared, please know you are not alone. you deserve to be safe in the spaces you work and create in. if you ever need direction toward resources or just someone to listen, my dms are open.
